300 words Entry One Cancer
Certainly this is not the way I wanted to start this 18,000 words in 15 weeks project, an assignment given with open ended possibilities, but nonetheless. In Alanon we learn to pray and ask God to grant us the ability to accept the things we cannot change.
I’m not doing that good accepting right now and I need to get to a meeting. Because here I sit disgruntled over His cancer. This cancer thing that isn’t happening to me; it’s happening to Him; a thousand miles away.
Since November He’s been the muse and audience of all my private work. HE is a Sagittarius, born in the year of the horse, He is a 100 percent Brooklyn born and raised Italian. He rides Harleys, and takes in Broadway. He is a powerful man and He is an artist, He runs a magazine in Manhattan that 30 million of us read, He is danger cut with a double-edged sword and yet when I think of Him it is velvet.
He reminds me of stories I’ve heard about Elvis (He doesn’t sleep alone. And I’m in Michigan <sigh>). A week before He found out what was happening to Him, He and I chased a unicorn to Union and 15th and as the motorcycle came to a stop at a light I leapt off the bike, screaming, “Leo, Leo” (the unicorn’s name).
But we never found him.
And I wonder, what if we had found him? I imagine a million different outcomes to the current situation if we had been so charmed as to find a unicorn in Union Square.
It’s not that I think he will die from this cancer. Oh no, in fact, I have no doubt he will live. He is a king and kings don’t die; it’s actually absolutely absurd to even say the words “king” and “die” in the same sentence.
I just hate sitting on my hands and wishing there was some other thing to write about that wasn’t quite as empty and demanding as the space between me,
and where his mind is now.